Fashion Faux Paus

It seems that a lot of people don't think about the activities they plan on participating in when they plan their wardrobe for the day, despite a great deal of planning about how they look, which seems to me to be rather backward. Mostly, it seems to be women, although guys do it sometimes too. Let me illustrate just a few things that I have seen that made me go hmm.

A woman at a local waterpark was wearing a string bikini. That in and of itself is not unusual. Women with the right form look great in them. Then again, it really doesn't matter what they wear if they can make a string bikini look good, so it is rather moot. No, what made this a seriously bad choice was that she was a mother with a little boy trailing along behind her. A little boy that saw interesting dangling strings within arm reach and, being a curious little boy, kept pulling on them. Needless to say, his mom was not too happy about her swim suit constantly being taken off in public. This could have been prevented quite easily if she had simply worn any other type of swimsuit. String bikinis are not the greatest choice for any woman that actually intends on swimming anyway as they have a tendency of slipping off in the type of activities that occur in water parks, say, on slides or in the wave pool. While this may be greatly amusing to all the guys there, I am not so sure it is that amusing to the women, or girls. Why anyone would send their 6 year old daughters to a water park in a string bikini is beyond me, but I see it all the time. No, string bikinis really only have one purpose, to make guys imagine pulling those strings. Seriously girls, if you aren't planning on guys doing that so you can have a wild bout of sex, you might want to rethink making your swimsuit the one second to naked variety.

Another thing I see women do on a regular basis is wearing miniskirts and a light blouse no matter how cold it is, then of course they complain about being cold. If this is not a ploy to get guys to invite them into their room, I don't know what is. You might as well be putting a sign on yourself saying you are available and ready for sex. Unless it is hot outside, miniskirts are designed to make men think of women as purely sex objects. No woman can expect to be taken seriously while wearing them, unless by seriously one means with serious intent to screw. Women dress like this to indicate they are sexy, but in reality it mostly indicates they are stupid and desperate. Miniskirts certainly have their place and are quite appropriate in the right circumstance, but that circumstance is not when the temperature is below freezing.

High heels are another thing that seems rather ill thought out. They seem to be designed by sadistic podiatrists to drum up business because they are about the worst thing a person can do to their feet. This is not exactly news to women, yet they still insist on wearing them. Don't get me wrong, I like to see a good looking woman in high heels as much as the next guy, they certainly have their place. One such place is when the woman is trying to look sexy with the intent to carry out that implied intent at some point in the near future. However, if a woman is trying to be taken seriously as a person with a brain and not just a nice ass, and/or they are on their feet for extended periods, high heels are just plain dumb. If women want to be taken seriously, dressing like they are advertising sex is probably not the way to do it. I am not saying women have to dress frumpy, which is the typical complaint women make when people bring this up, but when one dresses to highlight certain physical characteristics, they have no justification for complaining when people assume intent behind that mode of dress. There are lots of ways to dress and look nice without advertising sexual availability. Women may also bring up the height differential. In some cases, this may be a valid point, height does confer a social advantage in our society. But this social pressure is not as high on women as it is on men. Not to say it isn't there, it is just not as strong. But mostly, my disagreement here is on the type of shoe chosen. The stiletto heels with pointed toes are not designed to promote a height advantage, they are designed solely for appearance. That appearance to me says look, I am a ditz that is willing to permanently damage my feet in the hopes of attracting a guy to take care of me because I am incapable of doing so for myself, unless of course, the social situation is one in which people are expected to make oneself attractive for the opposite gender. At parties or social gathering outside of work, a woman can dress in such a way without any statements made about their intelligence or ability. At work though, it just says ditzy. On the other hand, a wider heel with a broader toe indicates that a woman feels the need to be taller (which, there are plenty of times in which this is a valid concern, both physically and socially) but has some thought about her feet. This type of woman can be taken seriously in a work environment.

To sum this section up, if a woman walks into my office to talk about her grade and she is dressed modestly, I am going to assume she is willing to conversely intelligently about her grade and I will be willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. If she comes in wearing a lowcut blouse with no bra and a miniskirt, I am going to assume she is going to try to sway my opinion with sex appeal, or an implicit offer of sex (because yes, this is a not uncommon tactic in universities). This is going to make me want to get away from her as fast as possible (as I don't want to lose my job) and will certainly result in no improvement of her grade. There are plenty of instructors on whom this behavior works, but that helps no one and the instructors really should be canned as that sort of behavior is damaging to the goal of school for all concerned.

I should point out that men also wear high heels upon occasion. This usually takes the form of cowboy boots. In the country, there are good reasons for them. If one is actually riding horses, the heel is a utilitarian device. In an urban landscape, the only benefit is to be taller and look masculine. Mostly it makes them look like stupid posers. Look guys, everyone knows you're not a cowboy and wouldn't be able to ride a horse if your life depended on it, so cut the charade, alright? Unless you're going to a country bar and dressing for the occasion, you just look dumb.

The other big mistake that men and women make in the shoe department is to wear nice shoes even when they are going someplace that requires them to walk in the mud. I have seen so many people go on field trips in which they know they are going to be walking around in the muck wearing expensive shoes that get ruined. The women have it even worse, because stiletto heels just don't work in mud. Every time I see that, I just have to wonder why they even bothered to show up. The rest of the class that dressed appropriately are just laughing at them. Here's a tip, if you are going hiking, miniskirts and high heels? Not such a good idea. Try jeans and comfortable shoes. The women who dress appropriately get much more respect from the guys (the guys who don't dress appropriately are just hopeless twits, the less said about the better).

One final fashion faux paus. If you are in a place in which there is a decent chance of dropping something on your toes or spilling something on your clothes, you might want to consider wearing appropriate clothing. Sandals and shorts are not good things to wear in a machine shop, or a lab, or similar places. Playing with children dressed in expensive clothes just means a huge cleaning bill. Don't try your hand at painting or cooking while wearing designer duds.

All this seems common sense, but as we all know, common sense is not so common. A tip to those that might still have some brain matter between their ears: try to dress like you mean it. Think about what you will be doing, then dress appropriately for the occasion. How hard is that?